Stacey L. Bradford writes (excerpt):
4. Rushing to Court
The fastest way to run up those hourly attorney fees is to go to court. While a regular divorce costs around $8,000, one that goes to trial can easily run upwards of $20,000, says Emily Doskow, author of “Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce.” Unless you have a very complicated divorce, the vast majority of couples are better off reaching a settlement through their lawyers.

Divorce mediation, in which a neutral third party helps a couple negotiate an agreement, is an even cheaper alternative for folks who can still bare to sit at the same table. Doskow estimates it costs about half as much as a contested divorce. But the expense isn’t the only reason she’s a proponent. “I like mediation because it keeps the decision making with the people who are most invested in it,” she says.

Lila Havens writes (excerpt):
In mediation, the couple works to reach an agreement both people think is fair. The mediator acts as a go-between to help them communicate. The couple makes the decisions, so they are more likely to stick with them. Having an agreement beforehand helps the court process go faster and smoother. It’s also more private and comfortable.

Mediation almost always costs much less than traditional divorce. Estimates put the cost of mediation around $3,000. A traditional divorce often costs many times that much.

David C. Sarnacki has been selected as one of the best lawyers in Grand Rapids and West Michigan. He is the only person to have served as the leader of three of the State Bar’s largest specialty groups: Litigation Section, Law Practice Management Section and Family Law Section. Mr. Sarnacki has been selected as one of the Best Lawyers in America (top 2.4% in country), designated a Michigan Super Lawyer (top 5%), accepted as a Fellow in Michigan State Bar Foundation (limited to 5% of Michigan attorneys), awarded Martindale-Hubbell’s AV Rating (top 11% in nation), and cited as an authority by United States Supreme Court.

Trained as a trial attorney, mediator and collaborative divorce attorney, Mr. Sarnacki has served on the faculties of the National Institute of Trial Advocacy/Hofstra University School of Law, United States Attorney General’s Advocacy Institute, Davenport University, and the Institute of Continuing Legal Education.

Stephanie Coontz writes (excerpt):
There is ample evidence that we can increase the incidence of “good” divorces. In a 12-year follow-up of couples randomly assigned to either mediation or litigated divorce, Robert Emery and his colleagues found that as little as five to six hours of mediation had powerful long-term effects. Parents who took part in mediation settled their disputes in half the time of parents who used litigation, and they were much more likely, even 12 years later, to jointly discuss children’s discipline, moral training, school performance and vacation plans. Nonresidential parents with mediated divorces maintained much more contact with their children than those who had litigated.

Michael Rothfield and Melanie Lefkowitz write (excerpt):
“It puts a premium on digging up dirt on the other party,” [Hofstra University law professor Andrew Schepard] said. “It puts a premium on each side saying, ‘I am better than the other parent.’ That is how parents ‘win’ custody. What they should be saying is, ‘What are my children’s needs during this divorce?’”

Janell Cole writes (excerpt):
“Mediation can be successful because its focus is on the strengths each person has as a parent and on the joint goals and aspirations parents have for their children,” state Court Administrator Sally Holewa told a legislative committee June 24.
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In mediation, one of the goals is for parents to be taught how to resolve future disputes, Holewa said.

Jill Schachner Chanen writes (excerpt):
Wider use of alternative dispute resolution is a key reason why more divorce cases are being resolved with less acrimony, say Hunt and other matrimonial lawyers.

“We feel that it has increased client satisfaction,” Chinn says. “We are resolving cases more quickly, for example, by moving immediately to a mediation date, practicing full disclosure, creating asset notebooks with the numbers and your position on them. It’s just to make it easy for the other side.”

Many jurisdictions now mandate mediation in divorce cases, especially where custody is at issue, Herman says. “In one of the counties that I practice in, there is an 80 percent success rate for [resolving] contested custody cases with mediation,” he says.

Paula Schleis writes (excerpt):
”With a third person present, it just changes things. People are able to talk things over,” said Bernard Winick, who teaches business law at the University of Akron.
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The stickier the situation, the more Winick loved trying to guide the parties to a creative solution. And it’s the calming influence of an objective counselor that can completely change the dynamics of the situation.

”A lot of people say, ‘We couldn’t seem to get anywhere, but when we’re at your office, it’s different,’ ” Winick said. ”I guess they feel safer, that someone is there to make sure the other person isn’t going to take advantage of them.”